Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
Managed to have sex with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night. That’s 4 minutes in human time.
Last night a thief broke into my house and started looking for money so i woke up and joined him.
My friend said “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” So, I threw a dictionary at his face.
My clever friend said that onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut in his face.
How do you make a pool table laugh?Tickle it’s balls.
What’s the difference between a refugee and E.T?E.T. learnt English and wanted to go home!
Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one’ so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this’.
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