A very rich british golfer went to the golf course and was going to take the first shot on the first hole, when he asked,
"Butler, bring me my tee."
"Yes sir," said the butler, "with cream or sugar?"

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Edward Lear, the 19th century English landscape painter, wrote affectionately of a favorite Duchess who
gave enormous dinner parties attended by the cream of society.
One night she let out a ripper of a fart and quick as a flash,
she turned her gaze to her stoic butler, standing, as always, behind her.
"Hawkins!" she cried, "Stop that!"
"Certainly, your Grace.", he replied with unhurried dignity, "Which way did it go?"