YOU JUST MIGHT BE A GRADUATE STUDENT IF

...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
...you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication."
...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
...you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
...you consider all papers to be works in progress.
...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
...you get more sleep in class than in your room.
...your office is better decorated than your apartment.
...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade."
...you often wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy
...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards
...you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication"
...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
...you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen.
...you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
...you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
...you have ever written a check for 45 cents.
...you get more e-mail than snail mail.
...you have ever seen two consecutive sunrises without sleeping.
...your glass set is composed of McDonald's Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups
...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
...you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
...you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
...your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.
...you average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.
...your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't.
...you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy.
...you wake up 10 minutes before class.
...your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over.