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Dentist warns his patient: “This might be a bit painful.” Patient: “That’s okay, I can handle it.” Dentist: (sighs) "I'm sleeping with your girlfriend.”

A dentist was about to leave his office with his golf bag on his shoulder, when the phone rang. “Doctor,” the caller said, “I have a terrible toothache. Can I stop by your office in a few minutes?” “Sorry,” replied the dentist, “but I have a previous appointment to fill eighteen cavities this afternoon.”

My friend felt she needed to go to the dentist since her front tooth was chipped. I asked her if it bothered her having it chipped like that? She replied, “I am only concerned when I smile.” I said, "Well in that case, there really is no need to go.”

"Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good God!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen... the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "Okay Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice." "I didn't!" said the dentist. "That was the echo."

William: "Why did the doughnut go to the dentist?" Olivia: "I don't know, tell me." William: "He needed a filling!"

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don’t worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It’s $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like?

Dentist: "How did you lose your three teeth?" Patient: "My wife prepared the cookies and they were very hard to eat." Dentist: "Then you could have refused to eat them." Patient: "I did refused to eat them. Hence, I lost my three teeth."

Teeth said to Tongue: "If I press down on you just a little, you will get cut." Tongue replied: "If I misuse one word, all 32 of you will come out."

(Dentist) This is going to pinch a little. (Patient) I love the way you guys substitute words like 'pinch' for 'pain'. (Dentist) You're right. Hang on to your chair, this is going to hurt like hell.

A little boy called Ben was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?" "I would prefer chocolate, please," replied Ben.

Dentist: "This is going to hurt a bit. Ready?"
Me, shutting my eyes, dreading this moment: "Yes, ready."
Dentist: "That will be $400 please."

After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist,
"Preparation H," said the redneck.

A man goes to the dentist to ask how much it would be to pull a tooth. "$100," said the dentist.
"Oh, that’s expensive," said the main. "Do you have anything cheaper?"
"That’s the normal price for an extraction," said the dentist. The man thinks about it, "what about if you don’t use the anesthetic?"
"Well, that would be unusual, but we could do that. It would be about $75." The man thinks some more. "What about if you used a trainee and no anesthetic?"
"Well," said the dentist, "I think that could work, but it would be a lot more painful. I think that would be about $35." The man thought some more.
"That’s still a lot. What if you make it a training session with a student doing the extraction, and the other students can watch?"
The dentist says, "Ok, that would be good for the students, but it will be traumatic to have it done that way. I’ll charge you $5 for that."
"Great," said the man. "That’s perfect. Can I book my wife for her appointment on Wednesday?

Patient to Dentist: "How much to get my teeth straightened?"
"Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the door.
Dentist to patient: "Where are you going?"
"To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent."

Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons:
A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man.
The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?"
The busman says: "Yes, why not?"
He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them.
This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time,
the busman asks this old woman:
"Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full."
The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman,
I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate.
So I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."