How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb,
and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.
Husband and wife are in bed and the husband starts in on the foreplay.
She stops him and says even though she wants to, she can't tonight.
Why not asks the husband.
Cause I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be nice and fresh.
Alright says the husband. He sits there for a moment and then says.
Well you ain't going to the dentist tomorrow are ya?
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friend with him.
While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts."
She says: "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em."
Fred’s mother was on the telephone to the boy’s dentist. "I don’t understand it," she complained,
"I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you’ve charged me $80."
"It is usually $20, ma’am," agreed the dentist, "but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!"
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well and they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands.
He then took off his socks and washed his hands.
The girl looked at him and said: "You must be a dentist!"
Flabbergasted, the guy responded, "Why yes. That's amazing. How did you determine that?"
The woman replied: "Easy... you keep washing your hands."
Well, one thing led to another, and they migrated to the bed. Things became more and more passionate and... (snip)
After their passionate deed was done the woman remarked, "You must be a GREAT dentist!"
The guy was very surprised, and said 'Yes! Yes! I sure am a great dentist... You amaze me! And how did you know THAT, my dear?
His lover said: "That's easy. I didn't feel a thing."
As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning,
the dentist I work with asked my patient if he was "flossing religiously."
Dentist: Can you please help me? Scream as loud as you can, like you’re in a lot of pain.
Patient: Why? My tooth isn’t hurting this time. Dentist:
Because there are many patients in the waiting room, and I don’t want to miss the game!
When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "Painless" dentist.
But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake ! " he told his mates.
"He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he yelled like anyone else."
In the courtroom where I worked as a court reporter,
a dentist was called as a witness.
He took the oath a few feet from my desk, and I noticed his upraised arm was trembling,
apparently from nervousness.
After he finished, I couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor.
This won't hurt a bit."
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
"I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said.
"Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed.
"You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said.
"Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said: "Show him your tooth, dear."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office,
took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said: "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed.
That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say:
"And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
Dentist: Do you floss? Patient: Yes, I floss religiously. Dentist: Really? Patient: Of course, on Christmas and Easter.
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said: "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the redneck.
A young boy was sitting in the waiting room for a little bit after getting his tooth pulled.
The receptionist asked him if he was ok. "Yes, but I didn’t like the bad word the dentist used while he was pulling my tooth."
"What did he say?" asked the receptionist, worried. "Oops."