It had to happen sooner or later. Lawyer Dobbins was wheeled into the emergency room on a stretcher, rolling his head in agony.
Doctor Green came over to see him.
"Dobbins," he said: "What an honor. The last time I saw you was in court when you accused me of malpractice."
"Doc. Doc. My side is on fire. The pain is right here. What could it be?"
"How would I know? You told the jury I wasn’t fit to be a doctor."
"I was only kidding, Doc. When you represent a client you don’t know what you’re saying.
Could I be passing a kidney stone?"
"Your diagnosis is as good as mine."
"What are you talking about?"
"When you questioned me on the stand you indicated you knew everything there was to know about the practice of medicine."
"Doc, I’m climbing the wall. Give me something."
"Let’s say I give you something for a kidney stone and it turns out to be a gallstone.
Who is going to pay for my court costs?"
"I’ll sign a paper that I won’t sue."
"Can I read to you from the transcript of the trial? Lawyer Dobbins: "Why were you so sure that my client had tennis elbow?"
Dr. Green: "I’ve treated hundreds of people with tennis elbow and I know it when I see it.’
Dobbins: "It never occurred to you my client could have an Excedrin headache?’
Green: "No, there were no signs of an Excedrin headache.’
Dobbins: "You and your ilk make me sick.’ "
"Why are you reading that to me?"
"Because, Dobbins, since the trial I’ve lost confidence in making a diagnosis. A lady came in the other day limping …"
"Please, Doc, I don’t want to hear it now. Give me some Demerol."
"You said during the suit that I dispensed drugs like a drunken sailor. I’ve changed my ways, Dobbins. I don’t prescribe drugs anymore."
"Then get me another doctor."