TRIAL JUDGE JOKE
Trial. A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked: "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked: "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied: "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too.
I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.
In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"